Monday, April 28, 2008
ive begged for forgiveness..again and again..everyday..but you refuse to give it to me..ive realise my mistake..but you say its too late..ive tired my best to be happy..but i cant..ive tired my best to smile everyday..but i cant..my heart ache..real bad..youve done things that hurt me deeply..but i can do nothing about it..coz we are different now..i miss you..i miss the times when we spend it together..it really hurt..ache..im really suffocating over here..but you dun seem to care much..now..you dun even miss me..dun even send a goodnite msg..ive tried so hard to talk to you..but you somehow dun bother..it really hurt alot..frens ask me not to teared..so i cant..all i can do is to tear only when nobody is looking..including you..you wan me to forget everything..i just cant bring myself to do that..its all happy memories..im glad..to have known such a person like you..i love you..no matter wad..even after im dead..ive did many foolish things so to make myself happy..yes i do..i have to admit i do feel happy..but its only for a moment..soon your face will still appear..it hurt once again..im feeling weak now..needing your support..but youre not here..as ive promise..ill wait..till theres no tomolo..
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haix..you have move on..leaving me alone at the back..i really really do hope that thing doesnt happen..but i guess you gonna say its too late..youve got someone with you now..haix..seriuosly i dunno wad to do le..everything i do now seems to make you upset or stress..im such a ass to you rite now..you just wanna me to get out of your life..everything you say hurt me..deeply..i really have no idea wad to do le..i just need your support once again..but youre not here with me..ive teared..but you scolded me for doing that..im tired too..but i just cant put it down..coz i no i really do love you..its not as simple as picking up a pen and put it down..its not that easy..wadeva i do now..youre the 1st person i think of..i just dunno why..guess theres no more love from you to me le bah..but i dare to say that my love for you is still at 100%..no matter wad..ill be waiting..lending you a listening ear if you need..now..i dun think im able to ask you out anymore..so wad i can do is to wait for you to ask me out..i wonder..wonder when will you then read this post..ive got nth much to say..
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all i wanna say is..ill be waiting for you..and..i miss you and love you as much as i am do the past..
standing STRONG @9:57 PM
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
things happen for a reason..for mine..it happen because some outsider ruin it..it happen the way it shldnt be..no longer the way it shld be..my heart ache..seeing you like this..making it worse..i teared..tearing is the solution for me..you dont listen..you dun tok..crashing away every single chances that i tot i have..im really sad..really sad..no one knows..i really do feel like tearing in class for a lot of times..but i cant..i promise to stand strong..i have to act infront of everybody that im happy..but actually im not..no longer..and it will nv gonna happen anymore..leave me alone..im trying so hard..real hard to play and smile..pardon me if i did a bad job..if i did offend any of you these few days..please pardon me..i need sometime..maybe a week..maybe a month..it may even take up to years..i no its gonna be hard..but i will still give it a try..no matter..it gonna hurt..it gonna hurt real bad..but..i can do nth..wait..??i will..ive promise to wait..no matter wad..meanwhile..i have to think of wad to do during the time when we usually spend together..praying hard..wishing you all the best..in wadeva you do..just wanna let you no..no matter wad..i will still be here for you..24/7..i promise..lastly..i love you still..
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argh..!!i hate myself so much..!!i cant hold it any longer..!!
standing STRONG @11:04 PM
Saturday, April 19, 2008
sorry for the late post..
lets tok about school 1st..school was fine so far..some of the classmate were great..had so much fun while workin on presentation with shaheedah and kelly..the 3 of us just play thruout the entire day..wahaha..took damn lots of pictures and added them into our presentation..we just cant stop laughing at it..hahaha..was so jealous bout xjun class..their class bonded so well..even went out to have lunch together..they've invited me all the times..so i joined them..but somehow feel weird just becoz im not in their class..but i still enjoyed the times with them..them are just a bunch of crappy yet fun group of pple..eg my tong tong, peipei and weiyan..wahaha..anyway..had ig orientation during the wed till fri..went to look ard and decided to sign up for a few..hopefully i will get into something that i wun regret and enjoy it..
class W24P
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shaheedah, kelly and me
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ok..now..i have no idea wad to tok bout thou..hmm..has been heading home late these few days..wen out almost everyday after school..wahaha..anyway i miss kexian..hasnt been goin out with her these few days..miss her jokes..i miss you too..had lesser time to spend with you le..im feeling sad bout it..haix..and to minghee..dont be sad and dun think too much..ill be here..need anyone to tok to..can just sms me or gimme a call..
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ok..im so gonna promise that ill blog more often k..shall update you guys with wad im so busy with..wahaha..so yup..bye..
standing STRONG @11:56 PM
Saturday, April 05, 2008
RP orientation was tiring thruout these 3 days..the only thing i hated most is NO PICS..so damn irritated..just becoz its so troublesome to bring along your fone with a pants without pocket..nvm..let all the typin do the work..hahhah..
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.DAY 1 of RP orientation.
parted with xjun when we got to our blk W2..im in class P while shes in B..was actually very enthu bout the orientation..but when i got to see my classmates..it totally change my mood..they are so dead..but its ok la..coz its the 1st day..shall wait and see..theres this one damn irritating girl in my class..keep askin stupid question and tot that she very pretty kind..and tryin so hard to attract attention..just hate it la..but who cares..not in my team..got so bored until i wanted to webcam with xjun..but she didnt wan it..luckily everything ended quite fast..got out of rp with xjun den met weiting and vic..went mindcafe..had so much fun there..few hours after that..everybody got tired..so we left home..
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.DAY 2 of RP orientation.
was so excited today..becoz we got to meet all shl students..me and xjun were late..played some games and i went changin to sports attire while the head of shl is tokin..when i got back..the tok ended..just nice..so after that..we got to team up in 10s..me and xjun parted..shes in the other team..got to no my team members..they are great pple..outspoken and fun..and our sl..DARCY..soon..my team and xjun team merge together..im like so damn happy la..hahhah..den ended up playin a mass game..blow wind blow..this is the part where i enjoyed myself the most la..after that is all ice breakin games..den everything ended..me and xjun went to have a bath den went out to meet weiting at imm to have dinner..den i went over to xjun house to stay over so that we can go sch the next day together..
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.DAY 3 of RP orientation.
as usual..we were late again..this time round..very late..reach there only when everybody had already put their bags in the room..we i got chnage and put our bags in that room too..got back our groups and same..my team and xjun team merge..and got ourself a team name..UNITY..played amazing race..and after that train our cheer..got to learn the shl cheer and rp warcry..had so much fun..but seriously..tirin..soon..we went up to the lawn to break a record..THE LEAPFROG RECORD..and we were published in the newspaper..so damn cool..so im proud to say that..IM A RECORD BREAKER..!!wahaha..after that..had dinner..and its buffet..soon..its jam and hop..all other schs come together to compete..and sad to say..shl lost to rsh again and got ourself 2nd again..and shl is so damn angry becoz only shl are being restricted to only 20 pple allow on stage..yet the rest didnt..but nvm..we did try our best..after that..some IG performed such as hip hop IG etc..and den dancefloor is open..went home with xjun and geraldine after that..and boom..onto bed..
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overall..its still quite fun..enjoyed myself..and wanna say a big thank you to my team for making me enjoyed myself..lastly..SHL..!!AHWOO..!!
standing STRONG @1:39 AM
